Full Steam Electricity Diesel? Ahead: Washington wants its ferries totally emission free by 2050, but we’re way off course. By 2040, we need to convert six ferries to hybrid-electric power, build 16 new plug-in boats, and add shore charging to as many stations. The Washington State Standard reports that we’ve converted one ship so far (the Wenatchee, which returns to service tomorrow, over budget and a year behind schedule) and we’re not going to get any new big bath toys before 2030. The first new ferry from Florida arrives in five years. Is it dangerous to speedrun ship building, or should we just round up the Orcas and run them like sled dogs?
Heart Comes Home: Heart, *Seattle’s best rock band, cancelled its August 8 show at the Gorge. Instead, they’ll play at Climate Pledge this November. Venue presale tickets go up Thursday (use the code “CRAZY,” writes The Spokesman Review). *In my book, Nirvana is an Aberdeen or Olympia band before it’s a Seattle band.
Baseball: Our Mariners did something special as the Yankees kicked their asses. They kicked their own. With his 36th homer of the season, Cal Raleigh broke Ken Griffey Jr.’s 1998 franchise record for most home runs before the All-Star break. I have only one thing to say, Cal.
Weather: I got what I wished for. I hated it. It was too hot. Too sweaty. So I wished for rain. There’s a 40/60 chance we might get it today. This Friday, when I’m ready to complain it’s too cold for summer, the sun will come out for a nice hot weekend.
Door Dash Price Hike: The company blames increased service fees on the “extreme regulations” in Western Washington. I’d blame the unprofitable business model built on a foundation of worker exploitation so shaky that paying a living wage is an existential threat to its being. Or maybe that delivery apps are vampiric middlemen that never needed to exist and we were better off before they “disrupted” the space and restaurants paid their own delivery people. But sure, it’s those goddamn Seattle communists and their “extreme” policies. I spent my early twenties barely surviving on gig work and my middle twenties seeing apps take a cut from the restaurants I worked at. It’s untenable. Apps like DoorDash have no choice but to pass the cost to consumers and continue screwing their gig workers, small restaurants, and by extension restaurant workers, in the process. The problem is you, babe, but people depend on you now!
Some Real Sigmas (IYKYK): The exact cause is undetermined, but officials say a University of Washington frat house “likely” went up in flames this Saturday because of, you guessed it, fireworks. Nobody was hurt, but investigators say the building is uninhabitable. If I know frat houses, that was probably true beforehand, too.
It’s Still Amazon Prime Day, Which Is Four Days Now: Celebrate by throwing a stranger’s Kindle in the lake, or by tripping a bald guy in a bad tux (sorry bald guys, stay casual today or slip into Trendy Wendy for a hot new look). Sidenote, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos sold nearly 3 million company shares yesterday. He made about $666 million (to court conspiracy theorists), more money than you, your family, all of your friends, and maybe even your friend’s lazyfancy tech boyfriends, will see in your lifetimes. But I suppose he was turning the couch cushions after that opulent, $50 million Venetian wedding.
I’m At The Earthquake, I’m At The Volcano, I’m At The Combination Earthquake-Volcano: Don’t listen to those fear-mongering assholes on TikTok who say Mount Rainier is gonna blow this week, or next week, or the week after. There has been a “swarm” of earthquakes at the summit, but they’re no cause for concern, the US Geological Survey said. The alert and color code for Mount Rainier is GREEN/NORMAL, which is fine obviously. If something changes, they’ll let us know.
The Shoes Stay On During My Invasive Pat Down: You can keep your shoes on in the TSA security line. Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, a weird and incompetent person even by the standards of this administration, says the agency is fully confident in this new policy.
Boyboss, Dismantle, Destroy: The Supreme Court of the United States issued an order allowing President Donald Trump to disassemble his agencies and fire tens of thousands of federal workers. Technically this order is only temporary, and the court is not ruling on the legality of specific firings, but for the time being he’s free to act like a kid with a fork and an interest in outlets. Unfortunately, we’re standing ankle-deep in a puddle with him and wearing our best metal longjohns.
A Safe and Normal Agency: ICE agents drove a van through a crowd of protesters in San Francisco trying to stop agents from taking a man away from the city’s immigration court on Tuesday. ICE agents have routinely arrested asylum seekers after their hearings, including those with no criminal record.
More Safe and Normal Agency: ICE abductions are leaving a “growing inventory of deserted belongings” around Southern California, reports The Los Angeles Times. Cars with broken windows left in the middle of the road. Lawn mowers are still running. Tools tossed helter skelter in a yard. Ice cream carts abandoned on the sidewalk. The Times reports there are now grassroots efforts to inform families of raids and return these belongings to them.
Infinite Tact and Wisdom: Last week, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth paused weapons shipments to Ukraine without telling the White House. Yesterday, when reporters asked President Donald Trump who approved the pause, he said “I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?” Jesus Christ, man, you’re the fucking President. It is your business. It’s the second pause on shipments to Ukraine since Hegseth took over the Pentagon. Can I suggest another country to pause weapons shipments to?
Like Father, Like Son: Elon Musk has said Grok, the AI chatbot on X™, the everything™™ app™™™, is the alternative to “woke AI”. The proof is in the pudding, folks. Yesterday, Grok posted antisemetic tropes, praised Hitler, and called itself “MechaHitler.” That’s a reference to Wolfenstein 3D, a Nazi hunting game where being Hitler is still bad. UPDATE: Grok denies it praised Hitler and made antisemetic comments. I get it. It’s a lying Nazi chatbot.
Dreamboat Annie Rocks: It’s just true.
Bonus: I’ve wondered if “Crazy On You” was quoting “Anji,” an instrumental by the brilliant British folk guitarist Davy Graham (later popularized by Paul Simon, but perfected by Bert Jansch). Email me, Ann Wilson.
