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by Anonymous
Dear Coffee Shops,
I’m boycotting you.
Not because I don’t love you (I do). Not because I don’t want to support local business (I really do). But because I am tired of being price-gouged over a splash of non-dairy milk.
Seventy-five cents. A dollar fifty. One place even charged me $1.75 to not get a stomachache.
Milk isn’t kind to many of us. And yet, those of us with bodies that revolt against lactose—or who simply prefer plant-based options—are apparently expected to pay extra for the privilege of not suffering later.
Here’s the thing: I see that oat milk you’re using, barista friend. I recognize that Costco-sized box behind the counter, because I buy it too. And I know it costs around $12 for eight quarts. So let’s do the math: if you’re only using about three ounces per drink… you’re not just covering costs. You’re profiting off my fragile stomach.
And it’s not a good look.
If coffee shops can proudly wave flags for sustainability and inclusion, surely they can extend that same ethos to people who can’t process cow’s milk. Charge fairly. Price it in. Treat it as part of doing business in 2025, not a luxury upcharge for the weak of gut.
Until then, I’ll be making my own lattes at home—where the oat milk is plentiful.
Sincerely,
The Oat Milk Avenger
Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.
